Harry Potter In Bollywood

HARIBHAI KA SURROR - THE MOVIE, THE REAL STORY!

H COMPANY

KABHI HARRY KABHI POTTER

KKASAUTTI POTTER KAY

VIVAH LA POTTER

Conversation

WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!

WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.

WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.

WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)

WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?

WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: Oh Shit.

Vacation

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "good morning, Father, good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store & bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them. Once again the two priests settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

Again, she nodded at each of them, said "good morning, Father" and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said. "Just a minute young lady. " Yes," she replied. "We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests dressed as we are?"

GUESS WHAT SHE SAID...

The blonde turned around and replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Angela,"

Healing Service

Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on television.

The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part they wanted to be healed.

Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch.

Grandma scowled at him and said, "The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead."

Difference

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

"Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."

Navin grafities - 1

Stages of Drunkenness

Stages of Drunkenness

0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of pretzles one by one.

5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.

6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing ass.

7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatela.

8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.

9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.

10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.

11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.

12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.