Dec 18, 2008

Wet Problem

This lady is having a bed wetting problem, so she decides to go to the doctor. The doctor tells her to go and get undressed and wait for him in the other room.

When the doctor goes into the room he tells the lady to stand on her head facing the mirror. She figures he is a doctor and gets in front of the mirror. The doctor goes over to the lady and rests his chin between her legs and looks in the mirror.

After a few minutes he stands up and tells the lady to go ahead and put her clothes back on and he will talk to her when she is dressed. The lady puts her clothes on and asks the doctor what is wrong with her.

He tells her that she needs to quit drinking before she goes to bed. The lady asks the doctor why he had her get naked in front of the mirror and stand on her head.

He replies, "I wanted to see how I would look with a beard."

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Dec 17, 2008

Who Help?

A father with his curious son of seven years was walking on a calm road. Boy observed the sex of two dogs which had finally culminated in to locking and dragging them forward.

Boy being curious asks father, “Dad. What both the dogs are doing?

Dad is in trouble. He tells the boy, “My dear son, the dog who is on the top has fractured both his front legs. Hence the dog that is below him is helping him to take him to his home. Come-on do not look at them. Hurry up”

Boy replies, “Dad is it not surprising. That simply means like men, dogs also are ungrateful and fuck to the same, who try to help them out.”

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Dec 16, 2008

1, 2, 3 or 4

Two teenaged brothers were arguing with each other very strongly. The issue was who knows better and more about the sex.

The elder brother of seventeen gives a challenge to his fourteen year old younger brother.
He says "I will ask you a basic question about sex and if you reply it correctly, then only I will admit that you know better and more about sex than

me."

“O.K. Done. Please ask." said the younger of fourteen.

Elder brother asks his younger brother, “Tell me, how many testicles we have, taken both of us together?”

Younger replies instantly, “It’s so easy, Four”.

The elder one says, “Wrong. I have only one.”

Younger one replies, “But I have three, what about that.”

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Dec 15, 2008

Hot...Cold

Three women are talking about their boyfriends.
"It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm giving him a blow job!"

"You know what?" replies Jenny, "It's exactly the same with my Richard!"

They turn to the third girl.

"That's disgusting! I never put his thing in my mouth!"

"You're crazy," one of the girls pipes up. "A good blow job is the best way to keep a guy! You should try it!" She says she'll think about it.

The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blow job novice is sporting a wicked shiner.

"Whoa!" the first girl asks, "How did you get that black eye?!"

"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she said.

"What on earth for?!" the second girl asks.

"I don't know," she replied. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as Pete and Richard's are so cold!"

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Dec 14, 2008

Take me...Take me

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.......

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him......"Take me.... young man... Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"...And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!

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