Oct 12, 2015

Two aliens on earth and...

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the  night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it  saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your  leader."

The  gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became  angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm  down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and  repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no  response.

Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray  gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your  leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade  saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that  will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He  aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball  roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him about  200 feet into a cactus patch leaving him singed and injured.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three  eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser  alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What  a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien.

'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied,  'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never  mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder, then stick it in his  ear.'

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