13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
Stop acting like your father!
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
Just wait until we get home.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
You are going to get it when you get home!
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?
20. My mother taught me HUMOR (so that I could write this blog… ummm yea).
When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
You’re just like your father.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
Nov 22, 2009
25 Things I Learned From My Mom - Part 2
Labels: Clean joke, funny joke, mamma joke, naughty one liners, one line joke, one liners
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