One Liners

• I almost had a psyhic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

• Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.

• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

• Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

• Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

• Shin:A device for finding furniture in the dark.

• I intend to live forever, so far so good.

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

• 24 hours in a day...24 cans of beer in a case...Coincidence?

• What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

• I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.

• A fool and his money are soon partying

• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

• Only borrow money from pessimists, they don't expect to get it back.
  

• OK, so what is the speed of light?