Matrimonial Ads

A news paper had a HUMOUR page with the following matrimonial published in it.

1.Banker: Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

2.Car Mechanic: Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition.
Should be above average and must run the household at a good average.

3.Doctor: Recently a love-bug injected in me strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage.
I’m looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills ands pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it Anasin, Metasin, or Crocin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects.
Apply or reply

4.Drunkard: Wanted a girl. Girl’s father should preferably have a soda factory.
I’m an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home.
Friends come home only seven days in a week.
Girl preferred will carry me from bar to ghar-bar.
Meet personally or send soda for trial sample should be ample.

5.Lawer:I hereby beg to solicit myself s an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage.
The person whom I’m looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of my Lord i.e. my self.
Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained.
Apply in confidence and if and if you have the confidence.

6.Software Engineer: Wanted a girl a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUL with Security features ( Privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionality).
There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.
She must not be platform independent and should be user friendly
We are ready to test the Application & certify the product but we will assure it will never be released to any other Customer.

7.Soldier: wanted a Dulhan in SHAPE (1) .She must know the family drills perfectly. Must be able to command a family section.
If you are blended perfectly with the latest in hi-technology, training techniques and strategic doctrines in home management, then you are very special person for my brigade.
Do YOU have it in you ?