Diagonostic Computer

A man with a strong muscular pain in his shoulder goes to a pharmacy that announced a computer that was supposed to diagnose anything, all you had to do was give it a urine sample and five bucks.

So the man gives it the urine sample and the five bucks, the computer starts making noises and finally prints a paper that says:

"You have a small muscular tear up in your shoulder, bathe it with hot salty water, don't make any physical efforts and in a couple of weeks you'll feel better"

Later that day, the same man wondered if the computer could be fooled, so he mixed some tap water, some dog crap, urine from his daughter and his wife and finally, he masturbated and added some of his semen to the strange mix.

With all this as the urine sample, the man returned to the pharmacy, put the sample and the five bucks in the computer and waited for the analysis to come out.

The printed analysis was:

"- Your water is not suitable for human consumption, you should buy a purifier.
- Your dog has parasites, get him to a vet
- Your daughter is on drugs, you should get her to a rehab institution
- Your wife is pregnant, but not from you, get a lawyer
- Your sperm count is very low, and if you don't stop masturbating that shoulder will never heal..."