Dead Daddy Long Legs

A little girl was playing in the garden next to her father when she noticed two large spiders on top of each other, apparently mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.

“They’re mating,” her father replied.

“What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” she asked.

“That’s a daddy long legs,” her father answered.

“So, the other one is a mommy long legs?” the little girl asked.

“No,” her father replied. “Both of them are daddy long legs.”

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

“Well, we’re not having any of THAT in our garden.”

Curious Girl

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the first time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life. Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"