Sex on Sabbath?

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.

So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.
After consulting the bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."

The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?"

So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.
He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!


Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.
In other words, he goes to a rabbi.

The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
.
.
.
The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."

Confession

An elderly man goes into the confessional and tells the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven grandchildren.

Last night I had an affair and made love to two eighteen year old girls. I did it twice with each of them!"

The priest replies, "Well my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"

"Never Father, I'm Jewish."

"So why are you telling me?" Asks the priest.

"Are you kidding," exclaims the old man, "I'm telling everybody!"

Dark in here

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.

The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "Ill tell."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."